Assertive communication: firmness, confidence, and respect

The art of communication

Mastering the art of letting someone know something or, in other words, communicating ideas effectively is a fundamental pillar in the daily life of any organization. But there are many ways to convey the same message, exchange opinions, or simply consult with others on any issue. Finding the right formula is key to creating a harmonious work environment capable of boosting productivity, and one of the most effective tools for achieving this is assertive communication.

This form of interaction allows each team member to express their ideas and needs in a clear and respectful manner, something that, in practice, improves collaboration and internal efficiency. Assertive communication at work minimizes misunderstandings, reduces conflicts, and promotes a culture of mutual respect and understanding that, within any organization, can make the difference between a cohesive and efficient team and a disorganized and conflictive one.

What is assertive communication?

Assertiveness and confidence are not incompatible with respect for others. This is the foundation on which assertive communication is based, a communication style in which anyone can express their opinions, feelings, or needs in a clear, direct, and respectful manner. Unlike other styles of communication, such as aggressive communication, which can be harmful and can lead to conflict, or passive communication, which can lead to frustration or resentment, assertive communication seeks a balance. It is about defending one's own opinions and criteria while respecting those of others, thus promoting an open dialogue that improves and enriches the work environment.

It is also worth knowing that there are different types of assertive communication. In this regard, we are talking about assertive communication:

The 4 types of assertive communication

It is also interesting to be clear that we do not always express ourselves in the same way. Depending on the situation, people can adopt different communication styles that influence how we convey our ideas and how others perceive us. In this regard, we talk about four types of assertive communication:

Direct. Focuses on expressing thoughts and feelings clearly and bluntly. It is useful when we need to solve a problem quickly and avoid misunderstandings, although it requires taking care of the tone so as not to sound rude.
Empathetic. Finds a balance between defending our own ideas and respecting the needs of the other person. This style fosters mutual understanding and strengthens personal and professional relationships.
Passive. It is characterized by avoiding conflict, expressing opinions in a timid way, or even remaining silent. Although in the short term it may seem more comfortable, in the long run it can lead to frustration and make others not value our needs.
Aggressive. In this type of communication, the person expresses what they think or feel firmly, but without taking into account the feelings of others. It can be effective to set boundaries immediately, but if overused it can deteriorate relationships.

Importance of assertive communication: advantages and benefits at work

The importance of using this style of communication in organizations goes beyond its ability to improve the interpersonal relationships of the team. The different types of assertive communication increase trust and mutual respect, while allowing better handling of criticism, turning potential conflicts into opportunities for growth and improvement. But let's take it one step at a time.

More collaborative. A characteristic aspect of assertive communication at work is the ability to practice active listening or, in other words, to be able to understand others' points of view and respond empathetically. When people feel heard and respected, they are more willing to cooperate and work as a team, which in turn increases the efficiency and productivity of the organization.
Conflict reduction. Assertive communication allows problems to be addressed constructively, avoiding misunderstandings and misinterpretations that could turn into resentment that could escalate into larger disputes. By expressing opinions and concerns clearly and respectfully, it is more likely that consensual and satisfactory solutions will be reached for all parties involved.
Improved work environment. In addition, assertive communication fosters a positive and motivating work environment. When the people who make up a company's human capital feel that their opinions are valued and that they can express their ideas without fear, they tend to be more committed and satisfied with their work. Not only does this improve team harmony, but it can also reduce staff turnover, which in the long run can also translate into cost savings for the company.

How to develop assertive communication skills?

Practice active listening. Active listening is one of the most important skills for implementing an assertive communication strategy. In essence, it is about paying full attention to what the other person is saying, without interrupting, and showing interest. Listening, paying attention to body language, tone of voice, asking questions, or paraphrasing what has been understood can help ensure mutual understanding.
Use “I” instead of “you”. This is perhaps one of the easiest examples of assertive communication. When you have to express a complaint or a different opinion that clashes with someone else's, it is very helpful to approach the conversation from your own perspective rather than blaming or criticizing the other person. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to my ideas,” say, “I feel that my ideas are not being heard,” a subtle difference in approach that can nevertheless reduce the defensive attitude of the other person and lead to a more constructive dialogue.
Be concise and direct. Clarity is fundamental in assertive communication. There is little or no point in beating around the bush when the ultimate goal is to convey an idea that may be somewhat uncomfortable. Being concise about what you need or feel avoids misunderstandings and saves time. For example, instead of making vague or general comments such as, “I wish you were more responsible,” it is better to be direct and specific and say, “I wish you would turn in reports on time every week.”
Stay calm. Taking a moment to take a deep breath and think before responding can help avoid unconstructive decisions. While it is natural to let emotional responses dominate in conflict situations, it is also important to maintain composure in order to communicate effectively. In fact, a calm attitude can help ease the tension during a difficult conversation.
Practice empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others or, in other words, to put oneself in the other person's shoes. In assertive communication applied to the work environment this means recognizing and validating the other person's emotions and points of view. Saying something like “I understand that this is important to you” can help bridge understanding and collaboration.
Apply the broken record technique. It consists of calmly and constantly repeating the same message, without entering into unnecessary discussions or losing serenity. It is especially helpful when the other person insists on deflecting the conversation or pushes for a “yes.” Keeping the same message helps to make a boundary clear without the need for confrontation.
Use the fog bank technique. It is based on calmly accepting a part of the other person's message without being dragged down by criticism or reproach. For example, amidst a comment such as "You are always late for meetings", you can reply "It is true that sometimes I have not been punctual, but I am working on improving that aspect.” In this way, the tension is deactivated, what may be true is recognized, and at the same time, one's own position is maintained.

Assertive communication examples at work

Example 1: Set boundaries with respect

Situation: A colleague constantly asks you for help with tasks that are not your responsibility.
Assertive response: “I understand that you need support and I would like to help you, but right now I am focused on my own projects and I cannot take on more tasks. If you want, we can talk to the team leader to see how to better organize ourselves.”

With this answer you recognize the need of the other, you set a limit, and you propose a constructive alternative.

Example 2: Give feedback without conflict

Situation: A friend from work often submits reports late, which impacts your work.
Assertive response: “I would like to tell you something about the reports. When they are delivered later than expected, it is difficult for me to meet my deadlines. If you could send them on the agreed date, it would help me a lot to better organize myself."

Here you point out the problem with concrete facts, explain the impact, and propose a solution, without accusations or personal criticism.

Repsol and assertive communication

At Repsol, we believe that fostering clear and respectful communication allows people to express their ideas and needs in a constructive way, contributing to a work environment in which everyone can be the best version of themselves, supporting and collaborating with others. From this point of view, assertive communication is an essential tool that allows us not only to grow and learn from others, but to collaborate to continue moving forward.

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